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Showing posts from May, 2010

Without Men

Yes yes, quite an unfair title I agree. But let’s just imagine the scenario once. Let’s say there was an alien attack or a genetic mutation due to some of those nuclear experiments conducted by U.S scientists & then all Y chromosome bearing creatures vanish from Earth! A big explosion & “poof!!!” they all disappear. Imagine life then… No more crimes:Nearly half the crimes on Earth are caused directly or indirectly by women. Well, am not blaming us. It’s just the fact that we want our men to be rich enough to provide us with everything. That leads to greed & thus crime. Or vice-versa men want to impress us with their riches. Whatever be the reason, crime rises. And also there will be no dowry case, no rapes, no sexual harassment etc to bother about. As I got an SMS recently: “If the world were to be ruled by women there would be no more wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other!”
Population Under control:This was is easy to comprehend. Well, no more m…

A Decision Made

Eyes that would have been seductive without even trying, now frowned upon the fashion magazine. Scanning page after page too quickly, to be actually reading anything. They seemed to be searching for something, an answer that this book certainly didn’t have.  For with a soft sigh she tossed it away indignantly. The room was cold but there were beads of perspiration on her arched brows. Clutching her legs she frowned at the empty space. “No, this won’t do. I have to speak…but how?” the thought ate her away again. Since the day the 12th board results had been out and her ecstatic yet rational parents had made the decision for her, this thought had created deep worry lines on her forehead. She wasn’t the IIT material with eat, study, tuition being her daily agenda.  But she liked her studies anyway, a rarity that she found common with no one. Every one of her friends had been tensed about the future, with the AIIMS or IIT tag attached to them. Studying was a burden, an enemy they had to s…

Virus In The Air & Other Stories

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India is probably amongst the top countries with IT literacy, but the fact that remains that many don’t even know the full form of IT. Cyber cafés have opened around every corner but they function more like a rendezvous spot for couples or prove useful for terrorists if they want to email threats to the politicians. The owner won’t know what the difference between cracking & hacking is, even if his life depended on it!
Engineering institutes give away laptops to their students and install Wi-Fi in their campus to attract more & more fish into the net. Unsurprisingly all the students ever learn is which websites to download the latest songs from or the advantages of LAN when you want to play NFS. The high-end latest laptops that grace their rooms are full of nothing but the latest movies or songs and experience maximum use for social networking. They might just know enough to install a Turbo C++ but never even Oracle 10g or any other RDBMs s/w…it’s slows down the system & …

Of Kitchen Fires & Spilled Milk

The females of the human species are always regarded as the home-maker (or in some cases especially in Ekta Kapoor’s soaps, the home-breaker). Their job is to cook, clean the house, procreate, cook, clean, procreate… you get the drift.
When God decided to make me a female, I bet he was looking elsewhere. The cricket World Cup maybe.. So He missed some essential parts while uploading the ‘femaleware’ in my brain. I can’t enter a kitchen & leave it the way it was before. Most women can’t, I know but I rather end up howling and running out of the kitchen in most cases. On the rare occasions that Mom allows me to enter the sacred grounds, she always wishes I wasn’t born. Too late Mom.
I was set the simple task of boiling the milk. Oh, wait may be I should go sequentially. So I had to open 2 packets of milk & pour them in the pan. I used my stale stock of common sense & grabbed a fork to slice open the packet. Half my left foot was drenched in milk. I limped to the bathroom first…

Daydreams In The Classroom

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Half open eyes still full of last night's sleep,
I barely stay alert till the roll call's done,
And once verified that am physically present
Into my virtual world I take the leap.

The scene around disappears in a haze,
Cacophony dims down to a background buzz,
My pen starts working patterns in the copy,
As I weave in & out of my personal maze.

Will that guy ever realize I have this crush on him?
Should I apologize & speak to her again?
Will Mom advance me cash if I beg?
May be I shouldn't give in to every whim?!

Wouldn't it be nice if I lived in a book?
Some heroine of a "happily ever after" story,
Forget the Prince,I'd rather have a new wardrobe
And a castle and maids and my own cook!

That saree is new,hope she doesn't catch me as I stare,
Oh! Look,she's got matching accessories too,
Wish she could teach with a matching perfection though,
She might be speaking Hebrew for all I care!

There's a hullabaloo,as the teacher is gone.
Don'…

What's In A Name???

Apparently everything! “Why aren’t you wearing your specs?” I quizzed him. “Err.. because I can’t find them?”  “What do you mean you can’t them find them? You’re sure you didn’t break them again?” “No, I was returning from that seminar & I placed them in my friend’s room, on the table & that’s when I last saw them.”
That’s how my very adult, 20 yr old friend ended up losing his 3rd pair of branded prescription glasses, costing 4000bucks a pair. Makes me wonder why not go for that cheap but ok type of specs instead? One that you can afford to lose & feel as guilty as you would when India lost another cricket match. But no, a rose won’t smell to them as sweet if it wasn’t a hybrid one cultivated in some exclusive nursery and having a price tag you’d rather expect real estate brochure to have.
What’s the mystery behind being brand loyal? Personally it appears to me as an addiction, something that makes no sense & totally ruins you, at least your wallet or your parents’. Tak…

A Memory (Dedicated to my GrandPa)

“I am not going back to school! Throw me off the terrace if you want to, but you can’t make me study in this heat!!” he yelled in the high-pitched voice breaking at the edges.  My teenaged grandson had returned from school. His mother flurried around setting the table for his lunch. Luckily my son was in office or this outburst from my grandson would have created mayhem. But then he wouldn’t have had this outburst while his father was here. The hot temper was an inherited one.
I sat in my room, unnoticed as usual and remembered only when meals were served. Today was an exceptionally hot day and for once I really didn’t blame the little boy for complaining. The fan swirled around in slow revolutions dragging itself against the hot & humid air. It couldn’t bring any relief but carried on it’s job like something out of habit. I tried to write again concentrating on holding the pen steady. But it would shudder in my fingers now and then.
I decided to give it a rest and moved over to …

The Science Of A Bad Day

The good day occurs by some miracle, I believe having a ‘good day’ is a myth anyway. A bad day however requires perfect formulae for its inception. Over the nearly 2 decades I’ve spent polluting this Earth & escaping catastrophes of minimal yet significant impacts..I should know what I’m talking about! It’s said that the Universe is connected, some sort of extra sensory wireless stuff having to do with mysteries like ‘Karma’ & so-called coincidences. The science of bad luck makes maximum use of this wireless network to fulfill it’s purpose. Mischievous elements like Fate & the negative marks you get as per your Karma add to the composition for your bad luck.
It begins with getting up on the wrong side of the bed. Now that’s the tricky part, the ‘wrongness’ is entirely dependant on another science called Vaastu Shahstra( ancient traditional instructions on where you should pee, where you should eat and where..ah forget it!). So once you have managed to get up on the wrong si…