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Showing posts from 2016

How To Get Fit (not) In A Month

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Each time I dab my KFC hot & crispy chicken leg piece into the red creamy ketchup, I promise myself I'd watch one more fitness video that night, in bed before sleeping. My favourite part is the end of a set, when the lady with a chiseled body would stand tall with a grin & not a drop of sweat mind you, look nearly genuine & try telling me that I too can lose my love handles & back fat if I did this for 15 reps. I almost believe her.

But first a disclaimer:If you came here looking for an inspirational post with the 'Before/After' photo shopped image, then sir/ma'am please lets not waste your valuable time that can be better spent on debating if flax seeds are good for you or not.
Those who are looking for something better to do than read posts about Saif-Kareena's poor baby, read on-

So this is not a motivational post, (I just learnt how to click-bait, haha!) nor is it a morbid tale of a fat lady who is determined to go all feminist/Nazi-grammarist/etc…

The Empty Train

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Have you heard of the empty train
The one that runs post midnight
When all the town is fast asleep
She merrily bolts under the starry night

I watched her every night
A beauty of a train she was indeed
With a shiny coat of paint on her
She appeared with lightning speed

The platform  long deserted
The lone guard snoring in his sleep
The train politely waited still
She had a timetable to keep

The windows had colourful drapes
And the insides were lit up bright
And sometimes when the moon came up
Her name would appear in plain sight

When the clock struck one every night
She'd appear,never be late
Prompt and eager like an anxious lover
Going on her very first date

I always wondered when a kid                                    
Standing by the window sill
A train as pretty as she was
Why did she run empty still

Mom said that the train must have been
A very mischevious one maybe
So the King of trains banished her
And thus she's forced to run empty

I felt sad for her and v…

Are You Travelling or Traveling?

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I do NOT claim to be a traveler. I am not exactly hit by the 'wanderlust' bug & have zero intention of 'some day having made enough money, quitting my job & traveling around the world solo...period'.
It's only my thoughts that wander around while I usually stay put staring blankly at the laptop before me.

But...but but but.. I belong to that category of Indians, who if they have arrived at a restaurant which is visible from their balcony, will painstakingly remove their 10" phone from their tight jeans pocket, stretch out their flabby right hand, try to get their faces  to resemble a fish out of water, click a selfie  (amazed to see the word underlined in red, Blogger grow up!) with a check-in to Facebook & innumerable hashtags (again underlined) on Twitter with the picture edited to make you look like a white guy in the 1920's with a sinister halo around him & then post it finally to Instagram (is this Blogger or the IE browser that I'm …

Being Bangalored

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And finally the famous Bangalore weather has decided to make itself known. The mornings are pleasantly cold, inducing sleep which does no good to a lazy bum like yours truly who believes donning a fitness band & taking a walk can make her lose weight. But let's save that for another story. The days are sunny & mildly humid with a cool breeze blowing all the time. And evenings are marked by thundering clouds that burst open on a whim & leave the city stranded in traffic jams. I think it's a plot, these traffic jams are perhaps the only time, the IT folk of the city get to experience the beauty of the rain.

I thankfully live only 1.5-2km away from my office which gives me the liberty to take a walk back in the drizzle. But it is advised to stay away from the pavements in Bengaluru for you never know which 2-wheeler might honk you off it on to the dangerous road, where buses & cars fly around almost like the Knight Bus ( that's a Harry Potter reference you Go…

The Quintessential Loss

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Been a long, long time since I wrote something. BlogAdda's WOW prompt about stuff we have lost, seemed to be perfectly timed-given my recent break up.

And while I was once again stifling tears & pulling out my hair, I noticed that I didn't need to pull it out at all. Strands of my precious mane seemed to be just waiting to depart my head. My most gentle caress could now, easily liberate 3-4 strands of fine hair off my scalp. This was no news, but it set me thinking. I like the many other fellow humans suffer from hair loss. Hair loss of the kinds that makes you worry & well...further lose more hair, is the worst!

From a thick mane that had once broken the teeth of many proud combs, I have now resigned to combing the delicate strands with my fingers. The idea of using shampoo fills me with sudden nightmarish visions-of the hair falling off and clogging the drain while I sob beside it. Being bald will never suit my large round face.

I miss the days when I could go off on m…

Turning Pink

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I remember waking up to the sound of the alarm at 4am that day. Panicky & groggy-eyed, as I scrambled out of bed, the realization stuck-My Board exams were over! And it was Holi the next morning!!!

With a million-dollar smile, and a kick to my sister's butt (she had again snuck into my side of the bed) I fell asleep.

The Holi of 2005, right after ICSE 10th exams, has remained until date the best Holi ever.
Finally free from the torture of trying to remember the Moghul heritage, the Venn diagrams, the topography in those maps (I never really understood what we were supposed to be doing with that thread in a Geography exam) & Shakespeare's "Et tu Brut" (trust me he was the brute, that damn Shakespeare), we were all waiting to paint the town red-blue-green-yellow.

The day started off with the neighbourhood aunties ringing our doorbell, all still dressed in their nighties with dupattas thrown over casually, one of them holding a big bottle of Coca Cola & th…

Desi Bon Apetit

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Fact is stranger than fiction, and I honestly believe if someone were to make a T.V series based on my life it'd be one weird, unintentionally hilarious sitcom. Sample this- a simple dinner date with a friend at a popular restaurant in Gurgaon's Cyber Hub area...
Friend, with a serious look totally not suitable to encourage further questions-"You will have to place the order"
Me,totally ignoring aforementioned look-"Why??"
"You just have to!!" 
"Why?"
"Because...the waiters here speak English and you know how I am before you"
Said friend seemed to suffer from a strange affliction that rendered his brain-tongue synchronization useless when speaking in English in front of me.
Please don't ask me to elaborate.
I took the menu. The waiter came bustling to our table.
"So..we'll have this butterfly chicken...on it's own and...which one did you say you wanted dear...?" I slyly smiled at my friend.
"The.. Err...grilled t…

Reviewed: The Bestseller She Wrote

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Love. Redemption. Betrayal.. Soon to be a motion picture-reads the cover page of Ravi Subramanian's latest work. And having gone through the 390 pages, the book can be best described as a movie that stretches far too long. And it's not even that interesting,

This was my second Subramanian title. After reading the first one my expectations of the author had reached a high which unfortunately has come crashing down after this book. The genre of middle-aged romance (or rather adultery) is much explored & R.Subramanian doesn't have anything new to add to it.

Aditya Kapoor is every man's dream come true, with a plush job, pretty wife & kid and his share of the limelight as India's most successful author. He is popular, he is loved & adored by fans and family alike and there's nothing more that a man can wish for. All that comes toppling down when he is on a visit to his Alma Mater IIM-B. A student Shreya Kaushik stands up to his commercialization of writ…