How To Get Fit (not) In A Month


Each time I dab my KFC hot & crispy chicken leg piece into the red creamy ketchup, I promise myself I'd watch one more fitness video that night, in bed before sleeping. My favourite part is the end of a set, when the lady with a chiseled body would stand tall with a grin & not a drop of sweat mind you, look nearly genuine & try telling me that I too can lose my love handles & back fat if I did this for 15 reps. I almost believe her.

But first a disclaimer:

If you came here looking for an inspirational post with the 'Before/After' photo shopped image, then sir/ma'am please lets not waste your valuable time that can be better spent on debating if flax seeds are good for you or not.
Those who are looking for something better to do than read posts about Saif-Kareena's poor baby, read on-

So this is not a motivational post, (I just learnt how to click-bait, haha!) nor is it a morbid tale of a fat lady who is determined to go all feminist/Nazi-grammarist/etc-ist at you & call you out for body-shaming.

I'm a much-debated-and-finally-agreed-upon normal person. I pamper myself with treats from KFC/McD after a tiring day at work. I can eat my burger & drink up my Appy Fizz while talking about how much I need to go to gym this week since I have been missing it for the last 300+ days.

I'm a Taurean & I pride myself in being bull-headed about a lot of things. But somehow I seem to lack determination & loyalty -the true traits of this sun sign. Determination of achieving my goal & loyalty to my diet-I stand guilty for cheating on both.

Don't misunderstand me. I'm not berating diets or people who are health conscious. These are wonderful people who deserve to be applauded for their hard work. I have seen a friend of mine, eat boiled vegetables with minimal salt and cheese for a month to lose 10 kilos. And he did lose it. But here I stand uninspired, because each time he sat for lunch with us, with that feeling of melancholy on his face, I felt depressed too. No man should have to look at his food and feel sad I say!

My father always reprimanded us-you eat to live, not live to eat.
But sometimes when life starts throwing lemons at you, you need to make a tequila shot & have that lemon afterwards.

I tried to go the 'low carb-good fat-high protein' diet way but that resulted in a 'low patience-bad digestion-higher irritation' situation for me. And then a friend suggested Keto diet & showed me pictures of these marvelous ladies who stood by the cravings & laughed at them & reduced kilos & inches from their bodies. The first taste of black coffee without any sweetener defeated me.
I use my resistance band to hang clothes indoors when it's raining...you get  the drift?!

So now I've made peace with myself. I don't eat out much, having recently discovered that I can do more than burn milk in the kitchen. I drink loads of water & hit the washrooms more often thus extending my loo breaks into longer coffee breaks too. I let myself indulge in KFC once (okay fine, twice) a month. I walk about a lot more, being on a call makes it easier (and will irritate your parents too, who will then stop complaining that you don't call them often). I do hit the gym 2-3 times a week & check my weight, keeping a tab on it.

I may not reduce 5kg in a month or suddenly look like how I used to a decade back, but at least now I can say I won't die of obesity and...wait th
ey're giving out free burgers at my office....so that's all for now folks!


P.S:
Yeah I'm back. So the point is, be healthy & happy and don't be too hard on yourself for not fitting into some predefined image. Let being healthy be the goal, than being a runway-model look a like.

 

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