My First Wedding Experience...

No, I haven’t gone and married yet. I am still sane enough unlike what people say (logon ka kaam hai kehna…).  This was the first time when my rendezvous with a wedding lasted longer than the salad-to-ice cream journey. It lasted from “I don’t want to marry” part 1 to “I don’t want to marry” part 2 and the final “they lived happily ever after” part.

For the uninitiated, part 1 phase happens when the groom selection begins for the bride-to-be. And part 2 happens the night before marriage when the bride comes back to her senses and sees past the gold sets and make up kit. So it was my cousin’s marriage, my Mom’s elder sister’s daughter (cousin seems so ambiguous a term). To add to the woes of the family, it was the first marriage since my youngest uncle had tied the knot. And he is approaching 50. So we had 3 generations of opinions and choices pouring in from all sides. My grandparents, my uncle and aunts and my cousins were the torchbearers of this gala event.
The first one to suffer was the cordless phone. It kept ringing all day and night and finally just 2 days after the marriage its transformer said “enough!” & died. Amen.
I was the sleepy audience in all this chaos, offering a whistle or a ‘bravo’ when things got exciting in the movie. My ears were tuned in to the one-sided conversation at our end and the running commentary made me thank my lucky stars for being born 3rd into the family.
But good things never last forever. I was given the task, the insane task to accompany my cousin to the parlour to get all her facial and manicure, pedicure stuff done. And I was left wishing for an insanity-cure salon to materialize soon. Those cunning people had left me with the most daunting assignment-to survive 4-5hours with an irate, nervous, freaked out bride-to-be! 
Ultimately fate smiled on me and I escaped the ordeal, one of my aunts being made the scapegoat instead. My turn arrived again-what to wear?! I had chosen a saree on my trip to Kolkata earlier, but guess what. The moment I put it on I felt akin to an Eskimo. The material was so darn fluffy it made my already embarrassing 50kg look like 65! “Mom, I know you so wanted this saree didn’t you?” case closed.
Well, this much for now. I’ll let you know the creamy details later. Got a maths assignment to finish & God knows how much I loathe maths…


Se2 said…
Awesome write up yaar. Loved the in between mellowed sarcastic remarks...! :D

And on grrom's side it goes something like this:- I wanna get married (part 1), I really wanna get married ( part-2),......ANd whythe F*** I married (the end) ..! :P
Anonymous said…
hahaha this was awesome..!!
i really thought u got married or something..!!! but thank god..!! :P :P
very well written!
suraj said…
what can i say as always ...another great post.... loved the narration...and it was funny throughout!!!!! and i remember when my uncle got married.... well all i remember is the 4 course lunch.....but i also have a faint recollection of the excitement at my home!!!!!
Rinaya said…
Welcome to Wandering Thoughts Se2...and thanks for sharing the groom's side's thoughts :P
@Candy: I have set a limit to my insanity after-all :P
@Suraj: most marriage receptions..especially in India are judged by their meals, pity I couldn't pamper my palate..more about it in the next post.. :)
n thanks for reading!
xyzandme said…
'The first one to suffer was the cordless phone. It kept ringing all day and night and finally just 2 days after the marriage its transformer said “enough!” & died. Amen.'

R-A-J said…
And in other news.... :)

Hey Rinaya,

Pls promote/vote for my blog at this url:


1st time here at ur space....

enjoyed the read....

very well narrated post and the sarcastic punches in between are superb... liked it.....:)

subtlescribbler said…
I just loveeee marriages! specially wen they take place in my near relatives :) And going escorting the bride to the parlour is such an interesting job, how come u didn't like it ? :P
Loved ur sarcastic punches and ur write up but I must admit that I DON'T agree to most of it ;)

Rinaya said…
Thanks XYZANDME :P :)
And welcome to my blog Irfanuddin,hope i find another willing listener in u :)
@Sarah: well, I dunno..the chaos and tempers flying around didn't reaaly go down well wih a 'shaanti-priya' person like me.. :P
to each his own :)

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