I Am Not a Blogger



If you are a blogger never reveal that to people around you. NEVER…EVER... unless, of course if someone realized your worth & asked you for an interview & guaranteed to place your carefully photo-shopped picture on the cover page of their magazine. Anything less than that you MUST pretend you cannot even frame a sentence & had no idea that gerund is not the name of some white guy.

I say never even reveal that you know English. “I didn’t studied English at all na, I always slept in back bench man…” Bloggers or writers & would-be authors need to keep low profile until famous. Especially when you are in school/college & are as close to publishing your own novel as India is to being corruption free. Here’s what will happen to you unless:

·         Class Postman: 
     You shall for all occasions & purposes, accidents & mishaps be deemed as the official postman. Remember the old movies when Lakshmi received a letter from her husband working in the durr sheher? The postman so kindly drafted the reply for her. At least the government paid him for it. You however dear blogger, shall be made to write (without any monetary or other redemption) countless applications for all purposes legal/illegal until you send your BF/GF SMS which begins with SUB: Request for a date on 25-26th of Feb 2012.


·         Speech-cum-script writer: 
    From college foundation day to teacher’s day to fresher’s party, the script/speech writer can be easily spotted in the auditorium holding their heads in their hands, nibbling a pen & staring vacantly into the space oblivious of the enthusiastic chaos around them.  While the rest of the world is busy enacting the play, these poor souls can be seen thinking of the right title/dialogue which pleases the director, the actors & the faculty. Do not for once think that you can unleash your creative genius & mesmerize the audience…hello? Who told you, you can play Shakespeare?

·         Editor:  
     This is rather an interesting position. Most of you writers dream of becoming the college magazine editor. You dream of leafing through pages of raw talent & moulding them into pieces of art with your editing. But what you dream of isn’t what you get. Be prepared dear editor to read through complex pieces of imagination where the only comprehensible part is the fact that it’s written in English. If you are lucky you will be able to get the gist of the author’s idea in bits & pieces…if not you shall spend half the night in trying to comprehend it & the later half correcting what you comprehended. It’s better if you develop a sense of humour to laugh through the portions where grammar bids goodbye & SMS lingo tkes ovr.

As a duty towards my brethren (or sistren if you prefer) I decided to share these woes that are the outcome of revealing your secret identity to the heartless cruel world which shall then only use you for their selfish purpose. 
So my friend, if you value your peace of mind & sanity, never reveal you are a blogger!
OR This Shall Be Thy Fate!

Comments

Giribala said…
Funny!!! I have done all that happily for a few friends :-)
Prateek said…
Haha! When your abilities are showcased at the eight time, everyone knows the worth.
Being there, Doing that :)
Rinaya said…
@Giribala ma'am:I'd do it happily too,its just that for tech-fest I have written so many applications & letter that I really couldn't take it any more! :(
@PRateek: wo time kab aata hai? :O
@Harshit: * somber shaking of hand* i know buddy!
Shrijit Nair said…
If one could identify what is he best at! The world can never ignore!!! And if they find out you are never spared.

Serving with a smile *Wink*
suraj said…
well the perils of revealing your secret identity. last time I won an essay writing contest,I ended up as a Master of ceremony for every program my college organized for the next three years.
another funny blog.... you are my editor too in the flight of words... guess I need to write better stuff :(
Rinaya said…
@Shirjit: *winks back*
@Suraj: LOL.. 3 years?I was exposed in STD 4 as someone who "writes" & the rest is history..
P.S: I mentioned college magazine & yes FoW did get some weird write-ups but not from you!
Sankar Shaji said…
true dat :/ i fink em screwd :/ >__< bt well jus a few days left fr colg to end :P :D
Gireesh said…
Hey :) I came across your blog from your comment on my BAT post. Nice blog cheers. just a little advice.

DOnt use Chitika and Google adsense on the same time. YOu may have a risk of losing your adsense account.

You have nice content to write. But appearance also does matter. Just take some time to arrange the gadgets on the footer of your blog.

Happy blogging :)
Rinaya said…
Hi there & thanks for dropping by.. :)
Well I actually have no idea what to do with the Adsense & other stuff.. I blog for fun.. for money I do other boring stuff like content writing.. :P Thanks a ton for the advice though :D
Hilarious read!! India will have a reduced level of corruption some day (corruption free is imaginary), but I am sure you will be published writer soon.
Rinaya said…
Hi Ramakant & welcome to WT... glad you enjoyed my read & well that was one of the most awesome comments I've ever received!!
*blushes*

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