The Gender Analysis Of Subjects

I was thinking about writing on something when something else entered my chain of thoughts and here I am blogging about what gender is perfect for what subjects-(in case you are wondering how can people be so jobless, all I’d say is THIS is my job Miss/Mister!).

Usually when we converse in Hindi we end up referring to inanimate objects with a proper gender. So why not extend that courtesy to subjects we study in school? So I thought & thought (having nothing better to do) and now have compiled the gender analysis results

©    Maths: I wanted to get over with my least favourite subject first. Oh, who am I kidding? I wanted to finish off first with the subject that I hate with every fiber of my being. Enough drama, now to the analysis.
Maths-it’s complicated, it’s scary when you are wrong, it’s stubborn & won’t listen to your pleas. And if you forget one formula you are done for! (Sounds like your sis/wife/GF ain’t it?) So female it is.

©    Geography: This one’s easy. Though I never learnt what to do with the little threads they gave you with the topography sheets, I still got a 90 in this one. It’s easy to please though it gets a bit boring; I mean no new mountains to learn about & the continents remain where they are. And it’s so easy to bluff and act all smart in this paper. You can always depend on Geography-male it is.

©    History & Civics: Dates and rights and wars. Need I say more? Just like you are a goner when you forget the female friend/sis/other half’s birthday, so also when you forget when war of Panipat happened. History knows how to hold a grudge.

    And coming to rights and laws and going by the rule book, Civics is a cruel mistress. Female again.

©    English: Well, English is divided into parts, the twins – Language & Literature.
Language is the simple and kind type. For years we have followed the same rules, the articles, the prepositions and gerunds-warm & comforting is this familiar territory. And language has remained kind ignoring the informal format you used to write a letter to the CM of the state talking about rising crimes, a letter signed off as ‘yours lovingly’. Male for sure.

Literature is a beauty. Especially those poems that you can interpret in your own way and be lucky if the teacher agrees with you. Incomprehensible Shakespeare & enigmatic Tagore. You need creativity, ESP & a host of other extra abilities to get through Literature. And such an enigmatic persona can only be female.

©    Science: Here again you will face different facets-triplets they are Physics, Chemistry & Biology.
Physics is safe; you know the theorem and half your problem is solved. Even if you don’t you can cook up something remotely similar and get away with it. You know the set of rules and can proceed with the experiments. Even if the results are not what you desire it’s so easy to manipulate Physics. He is male for sure.

Chemistry is a different affair altogether. No matter how much you slog the equations you can never please her. And the lab is where she has fun showing her unpredictable behavior. I never got over my disastrous Copper Sulphate crystals that rather resembled a gooey blue mess.

When I came to biology, I ended up double-minded. What gender stereotype does bio reflect? Sure it’s complicated like the females but then it’s messy too like the guys. (Don’t whine dude, you are messy!) You need to slog to please it but then you can just as easily get away with a cooked up excuse of an answer.
Hmm… tough indeed. Maybe I’ll just place it in the neutral category for now?