Deciphering English

‘English is a funny language’-I have heard this term numerous times, most often by sarcastic staunch Hindi speakers and also sometimes by English teachers who say it in a very indulging kind of way, like a fond mother taking about her naughty kid. Nevertheless I agree with it. It is indeed a funny language, but with a charm of its own. Capricious & unpredictable, it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth if you aren’t careful.

Going by the example of why ‘but’ & ‘put’ are never pronounced the same way, there are many other discrepancies when it comes to this language. The use of the extra ‘u’ in British English (colour/color) which MSWord ruthlessly underlines in red & the war between ‘z’ & ’s’(organization/organisation), are some examples. But what I wonder is why inspite of being perhaps the largest community of English speaking people, our version of the language is often looked down upon? An African might have fun with the language rapping away to his delight, eating half the words & spewing out the rest but if you dare to utter the ‘r’ in ‘matter’ then dude you suck!

Agreed a carrot should be called a carrot and not cabbage, but then a carrot is spelled as c-a-r-r-o-t & not c-a-b-b-a-g-e! Why spell the word as s-t-a-t-i-o-n when you want to pronounce it as stashun???! Duh! Add to it the wonderful accent these people have. ‘Can’ sounds like ‘kkhyan’ and for the love of my life I have never been able to pronounce ‘pathetic’ the way they do!

But we Indians have our share of fun mixing liberally the Devanagri phonetic version with the English one. The modified version too varies from region to region, like some old song remixed by various DJs! ‘Heir’ goes as the same way as ‘hair’ &  for the wanna-be’s ‘thank you’ involves spitting a lot on the person before you. And some words are too embarrassingly modified, like if you ask the coolie to drop your luggage in the boot of the car instead of ‘dicky’, he’ll look at you blankly.

Recently I was taught phonetics by our patient sir, who tried his best to make our tongues wiggle the way it should. The world of phonetics is another headache, it holds in itself the specific rule-no rule is permanent! There is an exception for every rule here. And that’s not desirable even for a rule bender like me. Going through the chapter makes me wonder-why do we have alphabet in various languages when phonetics already exists? I mean we could just make do with them couldn’t we?

But like any other language there’s beauty in English. A unique rhythm that curls around the words and gives meaning & emphasis to emotions. It depends on how you treat the language, with affection or scorn that determines what shape your words take.

A word by itself has no meaning, its people that give meaning to words. 

P.S: Thanks to my Be Cool i.e. Business Communication teacher for inspiring this post and also the wonderful English teachers who taught me in school :)
Do share your insight about the language that rules the world.