The Epidemic Called Marriage : 2 Reasons Why I Don't Want To Get Married

Is this the Chinese year of marriage? It started slowly. Nondescript. A photo on my Facebook news feed, of a friend who I didn’t know even existed in my friends’ list, standing next to her life partner. Reddish-maroon shade of lipstick, that slight shine on the forehead from the sweat, face a bit ashen because you know, too much of foundation & the flash going off in your face, the groom holding in his paunch & trying to look appropriately delighted-trademark photos had slowly started creeping into my news feed. Soon enough came along photos of little babies, babies asleep, babies crawling, babies dressed up in cute little outfits, babies just being babies, babies babies babies..until I just couldn't find the energy to do another “awww…so cuteeee!”

Bet even the babies are bored of posing now!

And now they are everywhere! People getting married left right & centre. Is Doomsday happening after all? Everywhere I see people are either marrying, or going to a marriage or discussing it. And like all good mothers, mine has also joined the bandwagon. “You must start looking now itself…who knows how long it’s going take to find a good guy” Well, trust me Mom, I’ve been dating since 18, 7 years & I am yet to find the guy, good luck with getting one for me in 2 years!

People ask me why I don’t want to get married. It’s like “why not engineering?” all over again. To whomsoever it may concern here’s why I do not want to get married:

1.    I’m not ready yet, simple: When I’m hungry I sometimes rummage in my cupboard & open a packet of Maggi & eat it, yes, raw. I’ve worn t-shirts inside out to work on many accounts. I get excited about Harry Potter and watching Tom & Jerry cartoon. I sulk & throw tantrums (sometimes stomping my feet). No part of me is ready to take on a whole new family & co-exist with another human & display a sense of maturity expected of marriage. The Indian belief of “shaadi ke baad sab theek ho jata hai” (after you get married, everything magically comes around) is the reason behind high rates of marital discord.

There’s so much left to be done. So many places left to visit. So many stories I’ve yet to write. I want to write a novel one day, someday. I doubt I’ll get my inspiration whilst changing diapers of my baby.

I’m definitely not ready now. I don’t know when I will be. Or if I’ll ever be ready at all. And asking me the same thing repeatedly is not going to speed up the process either.

2.    First love then marriage please:  I believe that a person needs to fall in love i.e. get their hearts broken a few times, feel crushed, exhilarated & confused to the point of wanting to end it all. Because that’s when you grow as a human. The typical Indian scenario of hunting for a guy or a girl of ‘good character’ who has never even talked to anyone of the opposite sex, is to put it politely-stupid! If you’ve not been with a man/woman before, pray tell me how on earth are you supposed to know how to act & react around them? Women are complicated & so are men, I don’t want to be the guinea pig on which you’re going to try all your relationship experiments, thank you!

I want to love the person I am marrying. I want to be sure that this is the guy I can rely on, trust with my life, who will understand me & accept me the way I am and for whom I will also feel the same, no matter how much time passes.

To marry just because the society expects you to, your parents emotionally blackmailed you into it or because you’re afraid of being lonely, is a compromise. And life is never about compromises.