The 4 Letter S Word

It was a trap. A casual invitation… a seemingly harmless one mostly laid for amateurs (read boyfriends & husbands) & I was drawn into it, though I belonged to neither category. Such is my disastrous fate. But first a foreword…

Sale-the 4 letter word that breathes elixir into every female’s bones; the talisman that would awaken the dead (the dead in reference being a female), the one word that can strike fear into the coldest & strongest men has finally arrived.

When you’ve had had a break up & are in the midst of the denial phase, text messages are fired at the rate of 2 long winding messages/minute & every ‘ping’/’ding’ of your cell phone, makes your heart skip a beat. During those crucial seconds when you stare at the screen, already essaying out a reply & a ‘ding’ announces the arrival of a message that you pounce upon…“ FLAT 30% OFF! EOS SALE on at XYZ…” if my phone wasn’t worth more than half my salary, it’d have found itself flying across the room by now.

So the casual invitation to hang out with friends seemed like a welcome idea. Until the point I was getting off the auto opposite the mall, I’d no inkling of what awaited me. It being as early as 11 am on a weekend, the mall seemed a fairly deserted place. Once inside, the friend I was with, was nowhere to be found. Mini-panic attack later I spotted her staring intently at a pair of sandals. I am a hopeless soul when people ask for my opinion. I can’t tell a stiletto apart from a ballerina… (yes, I just Googled them). I tried to back out, but too late.

Soon the mall filled up, with jostling aunties, tired baby-carrying uncles, fancy dressed girls (say you already have such great clothes, why waste good money on more?) and their desperately trying-to-look interested boyfriends. I was lost once again. My friend had managed to hand me what-felt like 200 but were just 10 tops & was herself scouring for more. Once happy with the lot, she joined the beeline for the trial room. I wasn’t this tired since the college Physics lab sessions. Having nothing else to do I decided to indulge in a bit of people-observing to while away the time.

You find the following types at the mall during a SALE:

•  I don’t know what I’m looking for : The ones that have come only because there is a ‘Sale’ & feel the incessant need to buy something.. anything at all. They often end up in the trial room with 4 pairs of jeans, 5 dresses & 10-20 tops.
• I must re-do my wardrobe :  These are usually the newly married, to-be married types who are accompanied by overtly excited & opinionated girlfriends who must always give opposing opinions on a particular outfit.
• I don’t care what I’m wearing : Usually the ones who absolutely need to shop for more presentable clothes & are often too lazy to even walk up to the trial room. They just use the mirrors outside and hold up the said outfit & decide if it’s worth a buy.
• Tag-checkers : People, often Moms or a married for more than 5 years man, who check the price-tag, raise their eyebrows, scowl at their kids/wives & shake their heads uttering incoherently about the madness of it all.

And even then only 15 minutes had passed. A total of 25 minutes later, after I’d made phone calls to long forgotten friends & relatives, checked out every male, female & mannequin in the vicinity, my friend returned from the hallowed walls of the trial room empty-handed, looking dejected. 

I got only one explanation “yaar, mazaa nai aya”…