Friday, March 10, 2017

Don't Touch My Bag!

She walked at a brisk pace. Not exactly running though she desperately wanted to. Not daring to sprint either. It was too risky, to draw attention to herself. She must appear nondescript. Blend in,like always. Why did it have to be so far?
A familiar face turned around the corner and her heart skipped a beat. Not now. If he saw her, he'd want to stand & chat. She didn't have time for that. She had to deliver on time. It was crucial to be on time.
She turned around pretending to be on a call,hoping he would leave her alone. Luckily he did.
Turning back she resumed her walk. Her hands were sweaty as she clutched it and her dupatta tighter. Almost there.
She entered with a sigh. Nandini appeared visibly relieved. No words were spoken. No words were needed as a green packet exchanged hands and Nandini dashed to the nearest empty stall.

This isn't a story. It's what many girls will relate to. The backdrop that I didn't bother with could always be a school or an office or even someone's house. Nandini could be your sister or friend or mother or wife(if you're a guy) or you dear girl.

The reason I wrote this was because the other day at work I spotted this girl,clutching her dupatta,head bent down, speeding away towards the washroom. I knew why she walked that way. And I felt bad. Why this walk of shame?

I have always been a careless girl. I remember once at my old office, I had gone in to discuss something at a colleague's cubicle. A few minutes after I got back I received a call on my extension from him-"Rinaya,have you dropped you *dramatic drop of volume* pad in here?"

Okay I had one in my pocket and somehow it managed to fall off without my notice. What followed next was even more dramatic-female member of said cubicle was assigned the task of meeting me at the ladies washroom and returning the item. Turns out she didn't even let him lift it off the ground! Are sanitary pads honestly radioactive..just for men mind you. No wonder the shopkeeper wraps it in layers of newspaper and black polythene as if the mere sight of it may render someone unconscious.
Some men would proudly buy a condom at a local pharmacy. Ask the same men to buy you a box of sanitary pads and they'd stare at you in absolute terror. It's our fault. Yes. This time I think we should blame ourselves. Why do we hide it from our sons, brothers,our friends or colleagues? Why do you say you have a headache when in fact your uterus is trying to detonate itself?

When you can show Sunny Leone or some voluptuous female form in a condom ad,why do we have blue ink thrown around for 'representational purposes' in a sanitary napkin ad? And also I want to know who started this rumour that using a tampon makes you lose your virginity? Having sex the first time makes you 'lose' it, although I've never found myself at peace with the whole concept of 'virginity'. But that's another story.

The reverse side of the story exists as well. People who flaunt their bloodied garments on instagram etcetra. Seriously? I understand its a natural process about which you wish to spread awareness. But why post a picture like that? If you wish to spread awareness,talk to people, behave normally. There is absolutely no need to flaunt it. It defeats the whole purpose of claiming that menstrual cycle is an everyday biological occurrence!

Hormonal imbalance, mood swings are expected during this time. To rub it in the face of people around you just so you get to eat chocolates is utter nonsense. I know girls who have cramps so bad they literally cry their eyes out. By making light of this issue,acting as if being pampered and cuddled by your 'bae' makes it better,is really doing no good to others.

I told my younger sister what to expect after I'd attained puberty. I think it made her better prepared. She didn't freak out or start crying at least.

This issue has been addressed too many times but we're yet to see any change.
Maybe you & I can start by being normal about menstruation. Not using stupid metaphors for it,not saying you have a headache, and certainly not hiding your sanitary pads like it's marijuana!

Sunday, January 15, 2017

5 Things I Want to Give Up in 2017

I'm out of creativity... Adulthood has caught up, much to my dislike killing the little child in me. It was inevitable that I'd lose my initial spark (I'd like to think I had one to begin with, humour me). So here I am with a typical blog post ,a semi philosophical...little funny and much mundane list of things I would try to avoid in 2017-

1. Believing an e-commerce site when they claim I belong to  their "elite" clientele.
Agreed I have spent all my life's earnings on stocking up my wardrobe and shoe rack, but it's time I got a grip on myself and realized that these shopping hubs are not my friends. All those discounts they send me are in fact a broadcasted an unfaithful lover proclaiming their undying eternal 'exclusively for you' love ! No more giving in to those flat 50% off mails now.

2. Ghosting people.. Yep I am guilty of doing that to some folks. In my defense they were worthy of nothing better! But yes, now after I have been on a date and realized its not going to work, I would rather tell the guy the same thing instead of pretending that my manager is the very reincarnation of Hitler and would not let me leave office at any godly hour. I am tired of pretending to be busy and ignoring texts. Off late I have started becoming more of an empath and I certainly would want to be told it's not working out than hanging on to formal good morning / good night texts,right.

3. Reading a book just for the sake of reading- while I firmly believe that everyone has a story to tell,some stories rather not be shared. I have tortured myself over weeks fighting to read a book, cursing myself for not finding it interesting enough. This year... I will let go. If a book isn't interesting,if every page feels like I am reading my Geography textbook after the lunch break ..or worse the maths tuition,then I shall quit. There is no shame in that. It is indeed okay to let go..

Case in point


4. Faking niceness-
I'm not much of a selfless saint. I am more the mind your own business until till you need someone's help. Even then I try to avoid taking anyone's help. As a result I assume everyone to be doing the same. When someone asks me for help I try helping out of politeness,not out of the non existent goodness in my heart. I have been nice to people, gone out of my way to help but now I have realised the world is a selfish place. Help only if you really wish to..if I feel a person is genuinely in need of assistance I'd offer mine. But if you're just being lazy around me...beware!

5. Trying to convince my Mom I am not ready to get married.
Frequent visitors( read people who I spam with my blog links until they read it) would know my aversion to the so called holy institution of marriage. I am open to dating. I am okay with commitment and relationship. But I just am not ready for marriage. To share almost all my meals,al my nights and days,my quirks and farts and burps with some guy. Not yet. Maybe one day I will but not now.
But I am tired of arguing with Mom about it. Her rather pragmatic logic of me dying childless,husbandless all alone in some hut is very disturbing albeit unrealistic. But I love her no matter how eccentric she sounds at times and I am done with pissing her off
so this I won't get married! I'd just be more patient with her and try to make the phone conversations last more than 5 minutes.

So that's the rather comprehensive list of stuff I'd avoid this year. Although not  new year resolutions...i suck at those...this is something I'd like to try and save myself some money ...and obtain some peace while I am at it.

Thursday, December 22, 2016

How To Get Fit (not) In A Month

Each time I dab my KFC hot & crispy chicken leg piece into the red creamy ketchup, I promise myself I'd watch one more fitness video that night, in bed before sleeping. My favourite part is the end of a set, when the lady with a chiseled body would stand tall with a grin & not a drop of sweat mind you, look nearly genuine & try telling me that I too can lose my love handles & back fat if I did this for 15 reps. I almost believe her.

But first a disclaimer:

If you came here looking for an inspirational post with the 'Before/After' photo shopped image, then sir/ma'am please lets not waste your valuable time that can be better spent on debating if flax seeds are good for you or not.
Those who are looking for something better to do than read posts about Saif-Kareena's poor baby, read on-

So this is not a motivational post, (I just learnt how to click-bait, haha!) nor is it a morbid tale of a fat lady who is determined to go all feminist/Nazi-grammarist/etc-ist at you & call you out for body-shaming.

I'm a much-debated-and-finally-agreed-upon normal person. I pamper myself with treats from KFC/McD after a tiring day at work. I can eat my burger & drink up my Appy Fizz while talking about how much I need to go to gym this week since I have been missing it for the last 300+ days.

I'm a Taurean & I pride myself in being bull-headed about a lot of things. But somehow I seem to lack determination & loyalty -the true traits of this sun sign. Determination of achieving my goal & loyalty to my diet-I stand guilty for cheating on both.

Don't misunderstand me. I'm not berating diets or people who are health conscious. These are wonderful people who deserve to be applauded for their hard work. I have seen a friend of mine, eat boiled vegetables with minimal salt and cheese for a month to lose 10 kilos. And he did lose it. But here I stand uninspired, because each time he sat for lunch with us, with that feeling of melancholy on his face, I felt depressed too. No man should have to look at his food and feel sad I say!

My father always reprimanded us-you eat to live, not live to eat.
But sometimes when life starts throwing lemons at you, you need to make a tequila shot & have that lemon afterwards.

I tried to go the 'low carb-good fat-high protein' diet way but that resulted in a 'low patience-bad digestion-higher irritation' situation for me. And then a friend suggested Keto diet & showed me pictures of these marvelous ladies who stood by the cravings & laughed at them & reduced kilos & inches from their bodies. The first taste of black coffee without any sweetener defeated me.
I use my resistance band to hang clothes indoors when it's get  the drift?!

So now I've made peace with myself. I don't eat out much, having recently discovered that I can do more than burn milk in the kitchen. I drink loads of water & hit the washrooms more often thus extending my loo breaks into longer coffee breaks too. I let myself indulge in KFC once (okay fine, twice) a month. I walk about a lot more, being on a call makes it easier (and will irritate your parents too, who will then stop complaining that you don't call them often). I do hit the gym 2-3 times a week & check my weight, keeping a tab on it.

I may not reduce 5kg in a month or suddenly look like how I used to a decade back, but at least now I can say I won't die of obesity and...wait th
ey're giving out free burgers at my that's all for now folks!

Yeah I'm back. So the point is, be healthy & happy and don't be too hard on yourself for not fitting into some predefined image. Let being healthy be the goal, than being a runway-model look a like.


Saturday, September 24, 2016

The Empty Train

Have you heard of the empty train
The one that runs post midnight
When all the town is fast asleep
She merrily bolts under the starry night

I watched her every night
A beauty of a train she was indeed
With a shiny coat of paint on her
She appeared with lightning speed

The platform  long deserted
The lone guard snoring in his sleep
The train politely waited still
She had a timetable to keep

The windows had colourful drapes
And the insides were lit up bright
And sometimes when the moon came up
Her name would appear in plain sight

When the clock struck one every night
She'd appear,never be late
Prompt and eager like an anxious lover
Going on her very first date

I always wondered when a kid                                    
Standing by the window sill
A train as pretty as she was
Why did she run empty still

Mom said that the train must have been
A very mischevious one maybe
So the King of trains banished her
And thus she's forced to run empty

I felt sad for her and vowed to
Someday climb aboard the empty train
And travel far and wide in her, for I'd
many adventurous journeys to gain

Grown up, one day I went up
To the old platform and searched in vain
I guess she must have found a passenger

She was no longer my empty train.
Pic src: photoshopugurus

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.